i am about to turn 26 in one month , the one thing i have miserably failed to master is controlling my desire ofcourse my conciousness comes with my own limitations for betterment of my growth
like i dont desire the things which i dont deserve

but still , when you desire things when you deserve also sexaul desire is too absratcted
what is deserving here , if you take a girl out couple of times and you can comment on her ? no certainly not
but guess what i do this , i instantly say what ever comes in my mind to girls , like i love you , i love the way you are , you have nice heart(heart represents something here) etc

some times it worked some times it doesnt works , but i people have left or discontinued after hearing this kind of things , i dont have any regrets
people who really know me or wanna know me they stick it , cause i am not harming them or else its there loss
they were looking solid reason to stay away and i give them one

but is sexaul desire good ? kama is good ?
as a 26 year old i now to this day after seeing many things in my age which probably most people cant even imagine i have seen
except lot of money , i have seen extreme in all , i mean literally all

but is kama good ? like in 3-4 down the line i may or may not get marry
but sexual desire is the one which runs the marriage , mainly even if it is not wholey then , why people wanna control it ?

i read lot of gita , i think i have answer for it …

1. Kāma Is Fire — Insatiable by Nature

In the Bhagavad Gita (Chapter 3, Verse 39), Krishna compares kāma (desire) to fire:

āvṛtam jñānam etena jñānino nitya-vairiṇā
kāma-rūpeṇa kaunteya duṣpūreṇānalena ca

This means: Desire is the eternal enemy of the wise. It is insatiable like fire.

Fire always wants more fuel — similarly, desire never truly ends. One wish leads to another, then another. If left unchecked, it turns us into addicts — not just to pleasures, but to chasing mirages.

2. Kāma Clouds Clarity

Desire, especially uncontrolled lust, clouds your buddhi (intellect). You stop thinking clearly. Your discrimination weakens. Your inner compass spins in circles. Lust doesn’t just attack your senses — it poisons your decisions.

Think: how many empires fell, how many minds got wasted, how many people lost their peace — not because of hatred or violence, but because of unrestrained kāma?

3. Kāma as a Tool vs Kāma as a Master

Kāma is not evil — it’s a part of life. It gives drive, movement, hunger for beauty and bonding. But like fire in a fireplace warms a house, and fire on the floor burns it down — kāma must be in the right place.

When you use desire to create, love, build, it’s divine.
When desire uses you — you’re its slave, not its master.

4. Spiritual Progress Demands Energy Conservation

In yogic and spiritual systems, uncontrolled kāma is seen as a leak in the subtle energy body. Sexual energy, when preserved and sublimated (through brahmacharya, focus, meditation), becomes ojas — the fuel for spiritual awakening.

Without mastery over desire, deep meditation and inner stillness are impossible. The mind remains agitated, always seeking some outer thrill.

5. Attachment Leads to Sorrow

Desire attaches you to outcomes. When you don’t get what you want, it brings frustration. When you do get it, fear of losing it arises. This loop is endless. That’s why Buddha said:

Desire is the root cause of suffering.

6. Love vs Lust

Kāma is often mistaken for love. But lust takes, love gives. Lust is momentary, love is eternal. To experience true love — whether human or divine — the fog of desire must clear. Only then does the heart open in purity.

7. Peace is the Final Goal

All sadhanas, all philosophies — from Vedanta to Buddhism — agree: the goal of human life is peace (shānti), silence, contentment. Kāma keeps the waters of the mind choppy. To reach peace, the waves of wanting must be stilled.

Final Thought:

Controlling kāma doesn’t mean repressing it. It means mastering it. Understanding it. Transforming it. Letting it rise — but not letting it rule.

As Osho said: “You cannot destroy desire. You can only transcend it by becoming so aware that desire melts into higher consciousness.”

So control kāma, not out of fear, but out of love for your own highest potential.


hey tadiyappa , naan inna mugsilla i have poem also

“The Fire You Must Tend”

Love is not born in hunger,
It is born in fullness.
Kāma is the thirst,
But love… is the rain after surrender.

You look at her,
And your pulse races.
You want her lips, her touch,
But do you want… her silence? Her soul? Her scars?

Kāma whispers: Take her.
But love asks: Can you hold her even when she’s falling apart?

Desire is wild — it burns,
But uncontrolled, it burns you too.
It makes you chase illusions,
But love? Love waits, watches… and walks beside.

The boy who is ruled by kāma
Wants to own her.
The man who has mastered kāma
Wants to understand her.

He doesn’t rush into her body,
He first enters her world —
The trembling poetry behind her laughter,
The bruises behind her boldness.

Because when you control kāma,
You don’t destroy the fire —
You make it sacred.
You light a lamp with it,
Instead of burning the house.

The greatest romance
Is not between two bodies —
It’s between two selves that see each other clearly,
Even in the dark.

The kiss is sweeter
When not rushed by lust,
But ripened by presence.

So, you control kāma not to be holy —
But to be whole.

Because love,
Real love,
Deserves a lover who sees beyond the skin.